Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Things learned from intergender friendships (",)


THE PREMISE of this article lies on the principle that sometimes, loving a person doesn't mean it has to be romantic and loving a person for the rest of your life doesn't mean you have to end up marrying them. Is it possible for a man and a woman to be just friends? I'd say yes and they should be, nothing's wrong with that!

HINDI DAHIL KINAIBIGAN KA, LILIGAWAN KA NA. Not every guy who befriends you has an ulterior motive. Get over yourself. Don't be flattered. There is a reason or maybe reasons why he befriended you, but don't automatically assume that it's because he wants to be your so-called "boyfriend". If this will be the principle you'll follow every time someone asks you to be his friend, you're gonna miss a great deal from the friendship.

HINDI DAHIL MABAIT SAYO, NILILIGAWAN KA NA. There are people who are naturally sweet and kind. There are people who are innately good and no matter how wicked you seem, they just find it so easy to be kind to you. It doesn't mean he is courting you. Don't put yourself through unnecessary stress trying to figure out if he's courting you or not. Because I do think that if he is, you won't have to guess, you'll know and you'll be very certain about it.

HINDI DAHIL HE TALKS TO YOU A LOT, HE LOVES YOU NA (kiliig ka ba? eheh). You don't befriend a person if you absolutely abhor him, right? Chances are you make sense when he talks to you, or you're probably very patient listening to him. The two of you probably connect on some level but why does it always have to be assumed to be romantic? Being two intelligent, mature human beings, you need to accept that it's nice to share a cup of coffee over a stimulating conversation, and that you don't have to automatically put romantic connotation to it. Relieve yourself of the pressure. It's just coffee and a shared interest.

HINDI DAHIL CUTE OR MAY DATING ANG FRIEND MO, CRUSH/LOVE MO NA CYA. This is the most funny thing that hit me lately. People always assume that because your friend is cute or should I say, hot (because cute is a word you describe your high school crush while hot is a word you use to describe a hunk or someone who is appealing to your eyes), "lakas amats mo na for repapips!" Let me just say this, at least from my own personal experience and from my friends’ experiences as well. I'm just nearsighted; I haven't gone blind nor are my friends. We can still appreciate God's creation! However, there will always be weird things, crazy things, stupid things that will keep you, from having a crush on him, believe me. (hehehehe) First of all, you'd know his history with women, enough to judge what's good for you. Second, don't you just hate it when a guy who's absolutely cute, who looks intelligent enough but pronounces the word country as "kawntri" and the word mango as "meynggo." Call me crazy for judging a person just because he can't pronounce these words right. I admit, I'm crazy… And I also admit that I’m not that good in pronunciation (i frequently commit sort of “stuff” me things…) hahahaha

HINDI DAHIL YOU HANG OUT WITH EACH OTHER MOST OF THE TIME, YOU’D END UP BEING BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND.. Self-explanatory... There are a thousand, or even million different reasons why things don't always turn out that way. There is no proven formula. For all you know, the reason why he likes hanging out with you is because he likes getting “kikay” tips from you. He probably plans on being “kikay” himself and he needs a mentor….. Wahahahahaha!

A DINNER OR EATING OUT WITH A GUY FRIEND DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN A DATE….. especially if you're paying for your share noh! Hello???? There are three things that you must consider: the place, the topic, and how the two of you actually planned to meet. First is how it was planned. If it were a date expect that he would ask you out at least three days before the actual date to give you some lead time, to give you the notion that you are not just a "filler" on his schedule. Second is the place. If it is a real date, both of you would want real food and a place where you could really talk things through. Don't go out with a guy to a movie on a Friday night if you're really serious about him. Going to a movie is more like treating him like a "filler" just because you had nothing to do on a Friday night so you might as well go out. Topic. Ha! You wouldn't be talking about chikang artista, chikang opisina or argue if the one girl's boobs are real or not. You would be probably talking about sensible and quite personal stuff. (davaaaahhhh???!)

PERO, HINDI DAHIL MAHAL NYO NA ANG ISA'T-ISA. PWEDE NA!
They say friendship is the most fundamental factor in a boy-girl relationship. But before entering in a so-called commitment, make sure to know the situation first. Relationships that started with fire usually ends in a disaster. If your guy friend is not yet committed, then it is not bad to go out with him or to talk to him everyday or every minute. BUT if HE is already in a relationship, don’t get too close coz you may end up in the wrong track. In other words, KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. You can find so many fishes in the ocean that you can rightfully own. Always remember the golden rule your parents taught you: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." It is the ultimate norm of high morality in our culture. Also, believe in the power of KARMA.. And for you BOY, always remember that a woman’s heart is fragile.. Don’t send false hopes to the girl. And before its to late, better end your relationship with the other or just be civil with your friend.

I therefore conclude that platonic relationships are never complicated; people just have tendencies to complicate them. Agreee????

10 comments:

gelene said...

ayun, naka comment din. hehe..anyway, as i was saying dun sa na-erase na comment ko, i love this blog. i feel you here yhen..:) pero at the end of your article, i started thinking, "are you convincing us, or are u convincing urself?" hahaha!!!! :)

simplyme said...

you're so intelligent vevekah! hehehe... Good thinking...:P
Both my dear... nyahaha

mayan said...

love love love..i believe in love but not in "love" that could be described by some as mystical. i believe in love that comes out from commitment and solidity of character. and love without the concept of "destiny".. forgive me, i think i digress..hehe

nice said...

Halo yhen! I was entertained by this write-up... I love it! hehehe... I love the way the tone is light and very conversational... A good read for a tired mind... Keep on writing!

ako si secret said...

love... oh love... it's a many splendored thing... it's the answer... it makes the world go round... hehehehe... tama si gelene yhen... naga-surat ka to convince yourself... bako man talga for the readers... adik ka sa one more chance ha...eu nasa sidebar mo na quote...

baby_ish said...

--"HINDI DAHIL YOU HANG OUT WITH EACH OTHER MOST OF THE TIME, YOU’D END UP BEING BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND.. Self-explanatory... There are a thousand, or even million different reasons why things don't always turn out that way. There is no proven formula."--
--hehehe..agree ako dyan...actually agree ako sa halos lhat...pero yan fave ko ate yhen... try telling that to others who believes n porque lagi mo ksma 1 tao xa n bf/ gf mo..wahehehe :D

baby_ish said...

..and i therefore conclude ate yhen n hindi kami...at wlang namamagitan samin ni ano...wahahahahaha.... davah! ..wahehehe...and it also goes to someone i know...although hindi cla laging mgkasama...wahehehehe.. peace ate :D

lalash said...

...PERO, HINDI DAHIL MAHAL NYO NA ANG ISA'T-ISA. PWEDE NA! --jan na maluwas ang piga apod na "pagpipigil" hehehehehe

darwin's priest said...

"dear ate yhen, itago nyo na lamang po ako sa pangalang..." -- gabos na ma-comment igdi dapat arog kaan an intro. very enlightening post, yhen. pd na ika magkaigwa nin advice column . hehe...

Anonymous said...

HINDI DAHIL MABAIT SAYO, NILILIGAWAN KA NA....oo nga nman..karamihan kc s girls ganito eh...@chic@